Simply being mommy blog11/28/2023 Instead, remember the reasons behind your choices. Guilt gone awry turns into shame, and it is emotionally painful to constantly feel like you are a bad mom, a bad employee, or a bad friend. Letting go of guilt has to start with a commitment to stop beating yourself up over your choices and circumstances. Here are some strategies to start freeing yourself of guilt, starting today. My experience counseling working mothers has shown me that, while they do still feel stressors, they also experience significant relief when they are mindful and intentional about their mindset and behaviors. It eats away at you, disrupts your sleep, affects your mood, and gets in the way of being present. ![]() Working on letting go of this guilt should be at the top of your long to-do list. As a result, guilt is permeating everywhere as kids spend more time on screens and moms spend more time on Zoom. The windows into their world have been opened for all to see as women still disproportionately take care of the housework and children while working. What’s more, the Covid-19 pandemic has left working parents, and in particular mothers, having to find solutions for education and child care. You don’t just feel bad about letting your kids, team, or boss down you also feel guilt about practicing self-care, remorse for not helping aging parents enough, or embarrassment about telling a friend how stressed out you are- as if you don’t have a right to feel this way. Working moms are chasing the balance of working a job that they want or need and being the mom that they envisioned. It feels like a no-win situation, and it fuels feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and defeat that can lead to burnout. The obstacles to being a volunteer at your kid’s school or attending the science fair has you plotting how to sneak away from work unnoticed, so that you might be able to make it just in time for your kid to look up and see you there (all while still checking your inbox for any urgent emails). ![]() Blurred boundaries of work time spill into family time, and half listening to your children’s stories from their day or missing out on meaningful time with them can lead moms to feel like they are failing. In her book Forget Having It All, author and journalist Amy Westervelt sums up the working mom dilemma: “We expect women to work like they don’t have children, and raise children as if they don’t work.” Because of this, women feel guilty - guilty for working and guilty for not. Secretly, you dream of a weekend away but come up with excuses as to why you can’t do it. No matter where you are, at home or work, you feel like you should be elsewhere, getting something productive done. You feel time running out to achieve your career aspirations while your kids are growing up so quickly. ![]() You wonder if every other mom feels the elusive work-life balance stress the same way you do.
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